Monday, June 13, 2011

Merriwether starts a fire.

Long-time readers may have noticed Misseswether has been appearing less and less frequently in my posts. Sadly, that was because she had been appearing less and less frequently in my life. Like so many couples married for a long time (currently 13 years for us) we'd been drifting apart into "married single's life".

In fact, we almost ended up moving into "single single's life". This was not a good thing. Neither of us wanted to separate, but we weren't really together anymore. Friends had noticed this and didn't like it, so they did what any good friends would do. They took our children away and packed us off to a Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend!

Have I ever mentioned Misseswether and I have amazingly awesome friends? Yeah, we have amazingly awesome friends!!

It was not a vacation weekend. When you go to on of these "marriage bootcamps" they work you hard but with precision. The goal of the weekend is to teach you and your spouse how to use a very powerful communication tool/technique: dialogue. But not just any sort of talking, they teach you how to communicate and understand each other's feelings. They don't teach you how to solve problems or work out issues. All they do is teach you how to make each other understand each other's feelings.

Sounds hokey, doesn't it? Being a scientist, I thought "And this will help how?" along with also thinking, "I already know how she feels about everything". Turns out Misseswether was having the same thoughts.

We went in thinking it was going to be relationship snake oil.

We came out a changed couple, shocked by how much we still truly loved each other and how many misunderstandings had built up between us!!

We aren't suddenly a perfect, happy couple filled with infinite love...but we both think if we keep using this tool of dialogue...well, maybe we will be someday. We're certainly MUCH better off than we were three days ago.

Worldwide Marriage Encounter has been doing these classes for over forty years, so there's been a lot of refinement of the process over that time. It started out as a way to help Catholics with their marriage and does end with a Catholic mass, but it has spread to all other Christian faiths and all faiths are welcome to attend. These classes are held on very specific weekends so that all Catholic churches around the world pray during those Sunday masses for the couples going through the classes. Have you ever had MILLIONS of people praying for you at the same time? It is very humbling.

So, now what? Well for one thing, you are going to probably get fewer reports from the borderlands. I'll be spending much more time with the woman I married rather than heading off on adventures every weekend. You know, maybe you should look into attending one of these weekends, too...

Newlywed Wethers!

Adventure! Excitement! Feelings!


Anonymous said...

What an extraordinarily brave and open post MW. With that sort of attitude you can't fail.

Enjoy each other.

Tom S. said...

I'm so glad you're heading back on track.

As your unsolicited and occasional moral/spiritual adviser, I wish I could have taken the credit.

Come to think of it, there *was* that award-winning motivational poster I submitted way back when...

Mike_H said...

Unexpected, but yet great post.

I think many of us struggle with similiar issues.

Thank you again!

Jackie said...

Bless you both - prayers being sent your way.

Christina Rodriguez said...

I'm glad to hear that the weekend worked wonders! You two are awesome!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to you both!!!! You have both shown great courage and commitment to each other. Our prayers for y'all have been answered. We'll keep sending prayers to y'all !!!

Wildman800 & Laddieslady1294