Thursday, July 06, 2006


I was born to celebrate the 4th of July.

Sure, Halloween is a big deal for me. I also love Thanksgiving. But nothing compares to the sweet smell of gunpowder. Fireworks are banned in Minnesota (thought they recently legalized Sparklers). One of my uncles was in law enforcement and he used to have to confiscate hundreds of different fireworks people smuggled in from South Dakota and Wisconsin. Then he'd have to dispose of these contraband fireworks. He found the easiest way was to bring them out to Grandpa's farm and let us shoot them off.

Heh heh heh.

Have you ever seen two hundred forty-four bottle rockets launched at once? Very cool.

Fireworks are legal to sell in Texas and while many towns ban actually shooting them off, no such rules exsist in the borderlands. I go to the same fireworks shop every year. The owner breaks into a big smile when he sees me. Normally I'm a cheap bastard, but not when buying fireworks. Our nearby neighbors have stopped buying fireworks for the 4th of July because they know they can't compete with me. I have almost three decades of experience with fireworks. I know what's crap and what's awesome.

I also know that if you drop a mortar down into the storm sewers all the manhole covers for a block jump up an inch when it goes off.

The neighbors won't let me do that anymore though. Cowards.

Misseswether gets into the act also. She's known as the Sparkler Fairy and little children from up and down the block come to get sparklers from her. This has been going on for eight years now and we have yet to lose an eye (or anyone's house, though there were a close calls back in 2000 and 2002).

Miniwether entranced.

Where there's a smoke...

...there's fire.
boom2 boom1

boom6 boom5

boom4 boom3


Adventure! Excitement! Explosions!

No comments: